A few months ago my cell phone carrier started sending me weekly texts suggesting that I upgrade my phone. They became quite adamant in their efforts, as time went by, and I hadn't given in to their persistent pitches to get me to join the ranks of the android army. As I kept up my resistance to their ploys, the texts kept coming in more frequently. I wasn't budging. I liked my phone, had gotten used to it and I felt that there was no reason to change it because it was older than most, no matter how much my friends or my provider told me I should do so. Until.... it turned out I had to.... if I wanted to keep making phone calls, that is.
Before I go any further, my fellow Observers, I suppose I should elaborate somewhat, due to the fact that my old phone was considered a dinosaur by today's standards... but I digress.... In early 2009, I changed jobs and had to turn in my company phone that I also was allowed to use personally. Needing a new phone, as my new job did not provide one and not being a 2 year contract kind of guy, I decided that Tracfone was the best choice for me. So with a hundred bucks in hand, I went to our local K-Mart and purchased the latest flip phone, minute card and an item that my wife asked me to pick up for her. I have to say that I got quite a look from the cashier when I came to her line with only what is commonly considered a "burner" cell, a minute card and a package of Nice & Easy hair dye. If anyone had asked, I would have said my name was Scott Peterson.
I kept the flip phone for a couple of years until I saw another phone, at yet another K-Mart, that caught my eye. Now, mind you, the flip phone worked just fine, but only offered double minutes. This new touch screen version promised triple minutes when I added time for a mere $50.00. As I'm sure some of you have already figured out, I tend to be frugal when it comes to our finances (my wife calls it cheap....but that's a matter of semantics) and I know a good deal when I see one. Needless to say, that was 2011 and I've had that phone ever since. Like I said, ancient history, but it still worked fine and I saw no need for change. I hate change.
So I went about using my brontosauraphone happily staying off the information super highway in downtown Bedrock until..... seeing as I was ignoring their consent texts, Tracfone decided to send me a post card in a last ditch effort to get me to upgrade my phone to a new one for free because my phone, being 2G (whatever the hell that is) was going to be rendered obsolete and would not work after August 16th as that was the day they were flipping the 2G switch to the off position. Makes me want to flip something else off as I hate being strong armed into something that I don't want to do and I didn't ask for. Have I told you that I hate change?
When my new phone arrived, I was somewhat relieved that it was basically an upgraded version of my old phone. I still hated it, but at least I wasn't forced into having to use a smart phone. As far as I'm concerned, my loyal reader, the phones may be smart.... the owners on the other hand.... not so much. If there is anything that I hate more than change it has to be trendy technology that has all the longevity of a trip through a revolving door. Moreover, watching a vast majority of others waiting in line, even camping out... for days... in order to acquire what they think is the latest and the greatest while paying through the nose to get it. Nope... not this guy. No I-Phone 347 or Android Jumping Jellybean Jinglehiemerschmidts for me. I'm just fine. And don't bother sending me any of those tiny face icons in one of your texts to me either. All I get are those little squares where the icons should be. Kind of pisses me off, if you want the truth, because now, I have to guess what the sender meant. Like I could have figured out what they meant in the first place because someone sent me a small cartoon face or a piece of pie. Just text, in words, what you want to tell me, would you please? Better yet, how about making a phone call for a change? What a novelty that would be, huh? That little thing your typing on is a phone after all. You know... the things we talk on. Why not simply dial my number, wait for me to pick up and just tell me to drop dead. You don't need a little yellow face for that.
Not only do I not understand the use of them, I don't see the need to use them as so many can't seem to live without them. No smiley or frowny faces required on my end of the conversation to get my point across. I don't need a little digital picture to express the way I'm feeling towards a situation or a person. I let my tone of voice and facial expressions relay my emotions, thank you very much. People seem to catch my drift with little difficulty. And haven't we gone just a little too far with all these icons....emoticons....emojis....or whatever the hell your calling them this hour? Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down, Ok, Praying, Peace, Happy, Angry, Laughing, Sad, Surprised, Hearts, Handcuffs, Shoes, Pills, Bombs, Hamburgers, Tacos, Pizza, Cupcakes, Cherries, Lollipops, Dogs, Cats, Hamsters, Chickens, Cows, Pigs, Frogs, Rhinos, Elephants, Bugs..... What does half this crap mean anyway? They still haven't come up with any that would be any use to me. Where's the little picture I can post that will ask "Are you a moron?" I could use one that posed "Are you serious?" or maybe "Get a life, loser!". I'd be happy if I could convey "Spank me!" with just a click. That would help. I have seen the middle finger one, but not all social media formats support it. I do think that they are heading in the right direction with the little pile of dung. I just wish that someone could figure out a way to picture it so I don't have to keep typing "EAT" in front of it. I think I saw a fork....I could use that. The biggest question we have to ask ourselves is... Do we really need this? We seemed to get by without all this not too long ago. We used our own emotions and fingers back then and it worked for us perfectly. There was no grey area or reading into being flipped off. We all knew what was being conveyed to us and usually returned the favor in kind.
We have to be mindful of the consequences inherent within the tools and machines we are now using to communicate with one another. Computers, phones, the internet are just that... tools and machines. When we allow machines to perform a task that was previously performed by a human, especially one that deals with personal interaction, we lose something of ourselves in the action. What we deem social media seems to be as far removed from "social" as it could possibly be and makes no sense to me why we feel it is so necessary. We trade speaking for typing. We replace our own expressions with little pictures of faces and we sacrifice civility for uninhibited comments towards each other as we hide behind the safety of cyberspace instead of solving our differences face to face. When you employ a media that allows you to be anyone you wish without the limit of reality and permits you to say anything you want without taking responsibility of your words.... You become no one that states nothing of importance. Strictly an Observation. If you'll excuse me, my phone is ringing.
